Friday, August 25, 2017

Blissful living

From Pinterest

Stephen is a joker.  He can make me laugh at almost anything.  Sometimes he will just pluck something out of thin air and make a joke out of it and we will both laugh like idiots.

There are so many things that make me love him.  Like how he makes my coffee in the mornings, no matter what he has to do.  Or how he switches off my alarm so I will sleep on.  Just simple things that all add up to what makes for a happy marriage.

For a lot of my life, I've always felt that I was always giving more than I take but for the first time in my life, I actually believe that I am taking more than I give.  It's taken a lot of adapting to reverse this and learning how to receive and not to worry about any hidden agenda.

And it's not just about relationship between husbands and wives, it's also about what goes on between friends.  

We're always concerned about paying back and keeping the record clean but every once in a while, we cross paths with someone who is happy to just give and be counted as a blessing.  We must remember to appreciate the kindness and be grateful when people are kind.  It is their intangible gift to us.

Some would call it karma but the bible says this
From Pinterest

Friday, August 18, 2017

Rules are made to be broken.

These days I keep reminding myself that I should do what I feel like doing.  Mostly I spend my days reading, watching TV, replying mails, browsing online, and chatting with good people on whatsapp.  

Since over a month ago, I've started exercising which is breaking a rule of my own since I don't much like physical activity.  But it's been good since Stephen bought me a Fitbit and I can track my progress.  And I have done pretty well since then!  Slowly but surely I am building up my stamina.

I used to follow a regimen of doing my duty but what exactly is that!  My sense of duty stems from a whole life of hearing that we must do what we are supposed to do.  I never realised how strongly this became my inner voice until I retired.  And even then, the influence of this indoctrination ran deep because to rid myself of it, I had to make a conscious effort to decide otherwise.  

Often, I would put others first and later feel like I had short-changed myself.  And even if people say, "you'll feel good", it wears off pretty quickly.  I know.  I've been there.

Now I have learnt to relax more and just do what suits my mood best.  

When Stephen is not at work, we do what we like because there are no rules and regulations.  We like to keep it that way.  We live according to each other's needs and wants and the rest can take a number and wait! Sounds cold but in the end, we are the ones who will matter and not anybody else.  

I learn as I grow older. And I'm still learning. 

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

No big deal

Image from Pinterest

Just a few years ago, I still used to feel bad about things and people and stuff.  My conscience always worked overtime and I am sure that, too often, I wasted energy just thinking about people or events that really didn't deserve a second of my time.

Somehow, being retired and having more time on my hands to do all that I like to do, which isn't much since I live a very simple life, I have found that I seldom feel bad now.  To be more accurate, I feel less bad about failing to live up to people's expectations.  There's very little interaction with others and so less chance of me hearing about what I should or shouldn't do.

I know that sometimes I still do what I think measures up to being a decent human being but, day by day, I am learning to just be.

When I saw this image, I thought it was great because there are many moments now that I actually feel like this.  I no longer feel bad about something I used to feel bad about.

This is just something for me to save here so I can be reminded of how far I have come.  Of course, I didn't do it alone.  Along the way, many good people have told me and urged me to be happy and not to worry too much.  I'm thankful for them and it seems to be paying off.

In a nutshell, I either deal with it or it's no big deal.  

Monday, August 07, 2017


Just like Spartan, the movie, with only "300" as the title, I thought just putting 400 is catchy and dramatic.

It's my 400th post and after all this while, I still find joy in writing because it's how I organise my thoughts and also my memories.  Without this blog, I'd have forgotten all the little stuff that can get lost in the bigger events of life.

Once in a while, I go and check STEEST for something and then I get lost, going through some old stuff I'd written and the same goes for SFGEMS.  Sometimes I don't even remember ever writing what I've posted.  That, for me, is always a nice surprise.  

First, because I think my mind conveniently decided to remove all traces of that blog content knowing that it's been saved.  Clever, if I’m right!  But it could either be that I am automatically deleting some of those memories or it is just part and parcel of forgetting due to old age.  It is a good thing then that I had put down those moments into words.

Second, because I can retrace my state of being, at that given point in time, via what I have written.  

And today with my 400th posting, I'm celebrating because I've stuck to keeping this blog alive, even when I've been lazy or busy.  

Whether or not I have an audience of one or a thousand, it is still a great thing to me. 

Friday, August 04, 2017

Three little words

Image from WWW
The moment we are asked to say three little words, we immediately think of the most commonly used and abused "I love you".  Many say it when they really mean it but many also say it automatically without feeling any emotion.  

But three little words  that convey much more than "I love you" can come in different forms. Sometimes what is even better than "I love you" is "You were right".  Nothing sounds sweeter than these words.

Image from Pinterest

For the most part of my life, it was always easier for my grandparents, especially my grandfather to say "God bless you" instead of "I love you".  Come to think of it, that was mostly the norm because in their generation, I believe it was hard to be openly demonstrative.

When he was alive, I used to give him an allowance and every time that I received my salary, I would pack his money in an envelope and see him as soon as I could.  It was a joke that he would always tease me saying "Pay Day".  Not because I was paying him but because I had received my pay!

Each time that I handed him the allowance, he would inevitably say "God bless you".  When I look back over the many years that he had always said that to me, I can believe that God really did bless me.  Those words were never in vain.  They worked a miracle over my life.  Only in hindsight, I am able to see this.

May you begin to bless those around you especially if you are unable to mouth the words "I love you".

And if you have reached the end of this blog post, "God bless you".