What do I do?

Pic from FB

My Uncle Ralph asked me this question just a day ago.  What do I do?  The actual question was, "What do you do with yourself now that you are no longer working?"

The reality is that many people wonder about how I'm adjusting to this life without work.  I take this word "work" to mean being employed and receiving a salary.  So I told him this in my email, "I work at being happy".  

I think that too many people don't work at it and expect happiness to fall in their laps.  It can happen, of course.  But how often would that occur?  Wouldn't it be better to work at being happy and achieving it as often as is possible?

Somehow there wasn't any real adjustment necessary for me when I stopped working for a living.  The whole idea of retiring was always so tempting that I finally gave in to it.  I haven't ever felt any sadness at leaving that behind.  Maybe I will admit that I miss my salary.  Apart from that, I don't miss anything else.  It has been so liberating to have given it up. In any case, Stephen takes care of me now so I don't have to worry about anything.

So what do I do?  I do what makes my heart happy.  

I do whatever good I can for those around me.  I may not do more but I surely won't do less.  Besides, it's easy to be good if you are inherently a good person.

I do what makes me feel good.  Why not?  It's the everyday things that make me happy.  

Sipping my coffee in the morning, unhurried.

Checking Facebook and mails.

Eating breakfast at 11 am or lunch at 3 pm.

Watching TV till 4 am.

Reading till my back aches.

Snoozing when my eyes are tired.

Walking around in shorts and tee shirts.  

Looking at the sky.

Taking a bus ride.

Walking around the malls.

Yes, just everyday stuff that I don't take for granted.  And because I don't take it for granted, I enjoy them even more.

Pic from FB

Real Happiness

Pic from FB

Shopping used to be fun.  I would buy anything that caught my fancy.  I thought that when I retired and had more time plus being in Singapore, I could spend hours doing what used to give me endless pleasure.

This did not happen.  My life changed and I no longer felt the need to go on a shopping spree.

Stephen used to shake his head at the amount of clothes I had.  He said that I could wear a different outfit over a year without having to repeat a look.  Well, yes, it was true.  

One cupboard of 84 blouses

At the end of my working era, I believe I had over 200 blouses, 8 black pairs of pants and almost all the basic colours of slacks.  Add to this, my skirts (long and short), plus the jackets and formal attire.  Since I stopped work, I've given away some of my clothes.  Maybe I have about 50 per cent now of what I used to have.

I also certainly amassed a huge collection of costume and real jewellery.  These were bought over the years or gifts I received.  At that time, it was never enough and whenever there was a 'good' buy, I'd buy it. I went through phases of pearls, crosses, Peruvian jewellery, precious and semi-precious stones.

A small portion of my stuff

Now, despite giving away quite a bit, I'm still left with so much and yet I only use the same favourites over and over again.

This is precisely why the picture on FB struck a chord in me.  It captured how I feel today.  All the things I bought only brought me temporary happiness.  I used to think that real happiness came from being able to buy anything you see.  I was wrong.

The real happiness comes from time spent with family and friends and doing what I love.

These days I'm doing what I love and it is a good feeling to have worked hard all those years, to have gone through all that and to be where and who I am now.

Yes, it is as simple as that, if you are looking for real happiness.

What Would You Do?

Pic from FB

$10,000

For the longest time, I had always thought that I would give $10,000 to one of my friends if I ever won the lottery.  She doesn't know this and I never told her.  I just thought that it would be such a surprise for her to know that I had felt this way since the mid 80s and that I didn't ever mention it because I didn't want her to think that she would have to reciprocate.  It was just a silent wish in my heart.

Recently, I felt that maybe giving one person $10,000 isn't as good an idea as, maybe, giving 10 people $1,000.  I don't know.

If you won the lottery, what would your preference be?  Surprise one person or help ten of them.  

In today's world $1,000 isn't much but it would be a windfall by any standards.

Now that I am not working, these are some of the things that Stephen and  I talk about.  It turned out to be a lively conversation and one that hasn't yet ended.  

PS  
I'm not revealing who the friend is!  What would be the fun in that? All I can say is that she wouldn't expect it at all.  It's precisely why I would want to give it to her.  

Debt-Free World

When I started working some 30 years ago, there used to be a weekly free talk during the lunch break.  I attended most of them but only remember two: Time Management and Money Management.

The one on Money Management was good because it gave me a mantra to recite whenever I was tempted to splurge.  The picture above shows what I used to say in my head. I didn't always follow it (life has to be lived on the edge, sometimes) but, basically, it has helped me to stay out of financial woes.

On the last day of 2012, Stephen went out to pay all the utility bills.  When he came home, I had a feeling of euphoria because this meant that we would start 2013 completely debt-free!  Stephen does it more out of habit than anything else.  He hates owing money and pays for everything with cash.  The only time he will use his credit card is, if he has to book a flight.  Then, he will settle it as soon as he can via an online transfer.

So we start 2013 owing nothing to anybody!

As you start this year, this is a good one to memorise and to practise.