Nothing is better than this

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Stephen loves kids.  In general, he finds every baby or toddler so cute while I reserve judgement in some cases!  Hence, it isn't any wonder that he is fantastic with children.

Even the kids in our neighbourhood know him by name.  

More than anything else, I love how he loves Jared, Gwen and little Cayla.  It is a blessing beyond compare.

Best friend forever

This post is not for diabetics!

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I cannot say it enough. 

I am blessed to have Stephen as my best friend and husband. 

Each morning is a reminder of how he cares for me when I have my coffee, made by him before he leaves for work.  Seeing to the everyday little details that make me happy.  Even buying the snacks that I like so that we can each have our cheat days.

While I am not earning any more money since I have retired, I have not felt short-changed at all. I had thought that I would have to change my spending lifestyle drastically when I stopped working but everything that I have needed or wanted is handled by Stephen. 

Even for the things that he doesn't understand like my multicooker or air fryer. His motto is "as long as you're happy".  

I am happy.  And I'll say it again, greatly blessed, highly favoured and deeply loved.

Father's Day 2023

 

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Being a parent is such a tough job.  It is a never-ending roller coaster of emotions.  I have been mightily blessed that I have Stephen who has been an absolutely great source of support in every way.  

As the father and head of this family, he's made sure we have enough and never to be in want for anything.  

While he is a great dad, he shines as a granddad.  Cayla is only four now, but she already claims that her Pops loves her the most in the world.  

I thank God for Stephen especially on this Father's Day, 18 June 2023.  

And then it was ten

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TEN YEARS is a long time. 

I retired from work on 29 February 2012 and tied up loose ends before arriving in Changi Airport on the 12 March 2012.

It is still fresh in my mind how uncertain I was to make that final leap although everything was already set in motion.  And yet, here I am ten years later.   

Oh yes, I'm not a robot who makes cold, hard decisions without thinking or feeling!  It was a bold move to give up a life I'd known for so long.  A life in my own country and a place I called home was not an easy one to leave behind.  Yet, the pull of a new chapter and to be by the side of the one person who always gives me support wasn't a totally difficult choice, either.  

When I look back now and think of my heart pounding then, I know I was just being human because this is what real people feel.  Taking chances is never easy as in a marriage, having a baby or moving away because we don't know the outcome.  We have to give it a shot and make the best out of it. 

I'm glad I hesitated.  It made me weigh the pros and cons.  What would the reward be if there were no risks?  We take the risk making that jump from what is familiar to all that is unfamiliar.  That's the challenge accepted and that's the challenge to overcome.  If I was a hundred per cent certain, then there would not be the element of winning/losing or of any change.  But a winning change makes all the difference when you reflect.  

Everyone gets dealt with a lousy hand at cards sometimes.  We face circumstances that we can embrace or we can lament the predicament and make each day miserable. We have the option to either make it through or make it work.  

I'd like to say I made it work.  Not for anyone but for me.  I did what I could for others for the most part of my life and now I'm really learning to do what I can for me.  That is the achievement. 

It hasn't always been easy but in the bigger picture, and in hindsight, I can sincerely say, on a scale of one to ten, I'd give this life a TEN.

The Unicorn

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When I was a little girl, the stories and images of unicorns always amazed me.  I wanted so much to see one, if only in my dreams.  Somehow the idea that unicorns existed, albeit only in my story books, made me believe in miracles.

Recently there was a TV series called "The Unicorn" and naturally I was curious about it.  Of course, I wasn't disappointed, it was about a widower and he was something of a unicorn because of who and how he is portrayed in the show.  I enjoyed watching the TV series.

It also made me think of my own unicorn: something (or someone) that is highly desirable but difficult to find or obtain.

Stephen is my unicorn.  Not much explanation needed.  He is the one who amazes me, makes me believe in miracles and so much more.

Often we hesitate to share how we feel for people until it is too late.  So I put this here now.  He will see it and he will feel loved and cherished.

Happy birthday, Hubby!

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I love him for all the big and little things he does to make our life so great.  He finds immense joy in all he does for our family.  It never fails to make me smile.

He dotes on all of us and is always saving for our future.  He never thinks of himself unless it is pointed out that he needs a new shirt.  It is forbidden to throw his old ones away!  

He loves saying "buy" if his grand-daughter wants something.  That girl is the new love of his life but I don't say this grudgingly, he has enough love to go around. And it warms my heart to see him excited about being a grandfather.

As I write this, I think of the times that he would stand in queue for me.  It doesn't matter if it's when we're out eating or shopping, he'd do what makes it convenient for me.  I also remember how he will suddenly bring home something for tea that I hadn't had in a while.  He praises all the food I make, even if there isn't any recipe and it's all last-minute put together kind of meal.  Heck, he is also happy when I reheat food because he's just that kind of guy.  He helps with all the chores when he isn't at work.  There are so many things that makes him lovable.  

In short, I just want to leave this here for when memories have faded so I can look back and recall how very precious he is to me and to the family.  He's a champion in our hearts and minds.

But what would my greeting be, without some humour.  So ...

You are highly favoured, deeply loved and greatly blessed, Baby Grosse!

Done by one

 

Recently I saw something that suggested we should get all our chores done by one pm.  It seemed a nice idea.  

I wondered if it would work for me.  So I did aim for it the other day.  Kept telling myself that after one pm, I can be guilt-free while I lounge around doing whatever I wanted.

Then Stephen made me change my mind.  He suddenly said, "just do one thing, only one thing."  He added, "wash clothes or whatever and then rest!".  

I won't always abide by this 100%.  I mean I may be done by one and then do nothing.  Or I may just do one thing and then rest.  I suppose that's the beauty of having the luxury of time and being at home.

Lesson one is just getting something done!

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For Stephen Felix Grosse

 

It's your birthday again!

Now why do I feel blessed as well!  

That's the kind of magic you bring to people around you!!!

Always remember that you are loved and cherished. 

And just like that....

Where did all the time go?

It was January when I last wrote in this blog and almost half a year has gone by.  I haven't been busy nor did anything keep me away from writing.  I was just putting it off for no apparent reason. Sometimes that's how it should be.  We should move according to the beat of our own rhythm. 

When we returned to Singapore in the first week of January, we hadn't expected to see the Covid-19 mania overtake the world and the lives of so many people.  Since its inception, nearly everyone has been in some kind of quarantine or was in lockdown mode. In Singapore, we called it the Circuit Breaker.

Initially it was just something we thought would come and go but as it stands now, we were all wrong.  Nobody could have known how it would dominate headlines worldwide and been such a topic on everyone's mind.

Anyway, I decided to sit and write a bit today after such a long absence because my online calendar reminded me that SFGEMS is 8 years old. 

And just like that, it also means that I have been here in Singapore for a little over that same time span.

Life, now, is basically easy-going.  I'm just enjoying the quiet time at home.  Of course, my day is punctuated by whatsapp messages and video calls but overall, I am on my own which I thoroughly enjoy.

Thankfully, the other person in my life and space (my better half), makes all this possible.  I am mightily blessed.

Of two old souls

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Approximately 21,919 days ago, Stephen Felix Grosse was born on 20 November 1959.  

It would have been a miracle for us to have met earlier because we grew up in different countries.  Moreover, our paths never crossed, when we were children, even though our families were seemingly linked via the wife of my uncle.

That's real life, I guess.  Perhaps an earlier connection wouldn't have made a difference or impact.  We only met at a time when we were ready to fit in each other's lives.

We are so different yet the same.  Often I think unlike poles attract and yet we are also alike.  

We had a quiet celebration for his birthday.  I did ask if he would have liked a big bash since it was his 60th but he wasn't interested. In this, we are alike.  There was no fanfare or party!!!  Looks like we don't need a specific day to be happy.  On the days that he doesn't work is when we have a date or eat at home and really it is celebration enough.  Not just one day here and there but every time that we spend together is special.  Yeah, it sounds clichéd but isn't this how it should be!

I had always thought that we would celebrate our 60th year because it is a milestone but somehow it has paled in comparison to becoming grandparents.  Having a grand-daughter changed our focus completely!  Our conversations are always about Cayla Gail and how important she is to this new chapter of our 60th year!  

In fact, she is quite like a 60th year birthday present that keeps growing and growing.  We feel so awesomely blessed.

So 2019, thank you for a superb 60th year from two old souls. 

Full of thankfulness!

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This is the longest that I haven't posted on my blog.  Not that nothing has happened but maybe because so many things were happening!  

Two months of ups and downs!  I guess it is part of being alive.  We can't always have plateaus or flatlines: otherwise it would be boring or we would be dead.

I am always mindful that I should focus on the blessings in my life.

I have a lot to be grateful for in this life.  

Recently I turned 60 and Stephen did ask me what I wanted.  It's hard to know because I don't have a bucket list of things that I want.  I have all that I need.  I'm easily satisfied like that.

But thinking about this a bit more, I realise that what I have is a continuous gift from Stephen.  He gives me a life that I thoroughly enjoy.  It's a gift that I don't take for granted. 

I give thanks today.

Of Love and Coffee

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Life isn't perfect!  

It isn't always fun and uncomplicated but it can still be great!

Sometimes we have to take great over perfect and know that this makes for a good life.

Most mornings, I am asleep while my husband makes the coffee.

Most mornings, I wake up to the smell of coffee even before I open my eyes.

Most mornings, I hear my husband tiptoeing around happily getting ready to go to work.

Most mornings, I laze in bed; long after he's planted a kiss on my forehead before leaving.

It's not a perfect life that I have but it sure is a great life when there is love and coffee.

Christmas Month - Day 31 New Year's Eve

What a year this has been for us!  The good, the bad and even the ugly but it's what makes the world turn.  Also I learnt long ago that no matter what or who happens, we have to stay the course we have chosen.  We keep what's nice about life and discard what we don't need or want.

There were some sad times but we mustn't let them overwhelm us. Some surprises refreshed our faith in humanity and this is what keeps us going.  

God will never shortchange us.  This is what I believe to be true for our lives.

(Images from Pinterest)

6 years ago

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A year can change you a lot.  So imagine what six years can do.

When I first moved to Singapore, I had envisioned my life to fall into a certain pattern and never would I ever have imagined that it would turn out so different from what I had predicted or projected for myself.

My goals then were to read more, spend time in museums and libraries, watch movies and tv, sleep in, sleep late, visit all the malls, blog more, exercise, cook, bake, and even do some charity work.  I think I had done some of this in my first year but after all that, there was always still a lot of time on my hands.  

Although I left Facebook, I found Twitter and Instagram to be a nice outlet to get news, beautiful images and ideas. But even then, there was always still a lot of time on my hands.

Then I noticed a niche that no one else could fill and, unconsciously, I gravitated towards it.  I found out that caregiving was something that I could also do.  Caregiving not in the sense that I had someone at home to look after for 24 hours but someone who I visited as often as I could.  Giving care  or giving a care would be more accurate.

With this newfound path, I decided to give it more attention.  I read up on geriatrics, diseases, palliative care and whatever else I thought would help.  It gave me purpose and made me feel useful.

There was a time when I went to the nursing home everyday and, for a short period, twice a day when it was needed.  When I look back, I marvel at how I did all that.  It would never have crossed my mind, or that of my own family and friends who know me, that I would have the patience and kindness to see to the well-being of an ailing member of my husband's family.  Yet it seems that God's Grace is truly sufficient and I ended up doing what was least expected of me.

It has not always been easy to take charge of and oversee the responsibility that comes with old people but I have the best partner in the world. He always gives me unconditional support and encouragement.  Without him, I wouldn't have been able to do this at all.

Stephen gives me the space to make some decisions and allows me complete freedom to act independently when he is at work.  His confidence in me makes it easier to do what needs to be done.  He's the general and I'm the soldier carrying out my duties.  It works.

Six years ago, I would not have thought it possible that I had,  in me, the fortitude and strength to journey down the road that I have travelled.  

All along, I always thought I was helping someone else but in the process, I was helping myself.  I grew to understand more about life and I have a deeper knowledge of what it means to be there for others whenever we can.  There is no greater personal growth than when we rise above our own circumstances and help someone else.

I have learnt so much and for this I am thankful for all that I've become and still becoming.

I give myself a pat on my back for making my time here count for something.  I think it's called serendipity.  

Side note:  I've always wanted to use that word.  It means the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

Seriously, not serious!

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And there it is, I missed a whole month of blogging.  This is what happens when you have Netflix and you start following TV shows which have so many seasons.  

But life is always fun even with all the ups and downs because of Stephen.  He can make me laugh and we can be completely stupid with each other and it's so invigorating.  Having an unusual sense of humour is how we survived before we met each other and now it's how we survive anything and everything that comes our way.  

They say that we shouldn't laugh at people and that the right thing to do is to laugh with them.  With us, it's not possible.  He laughs at me and I laugh at him.  Maybe we are at that comfort level where we can do so without judgement.

Seriously, it's fun and makes me look at life less seriously.  

Day 2 Change of heart

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Just before falling asleep on the first day of 2018, my thoughts were swirling before sleep engulfed me.

Strangely, I thought back to when I was in Primary School and all I wanted was to be a flight stewardess.  Little did I know then that I would outgrow the spirit of adventure that made me fantasize about travelling.  

It was a short poem that got me started on that first dream, and these lines came back easily, even in my drowsy state of mind.  

I'd love to be an air-hostess aboard an aeroplane 

I'd love to visit Italy, or Portugal, or Spain

At dawn from London airport, our jet will roar away, 

and soon we would be touching down for lunch in USA

It goes on but I couldn't remember the rest of it.  I tried to google to get the full poem and also the name of the author but I wasn't successful.

By the time I reached secondary school, I had a change of heart and dropped all thoughts of flying.  Now I wanted to teach.  

Eventually, this became a reality for me and I have many good memories of this decade in my life.  Some of my students are now my friends.  

Just before drifting off, I realised that the places in my travel bucket list is getting smaller instead of bigger.  It really is a curious phenomenon that I had wanted to visit so many countries yet my personality is the opposite.  It has to do with a change of heart.

As I get older, I have less reason to leave the comforts of my home and less reason to explore beyond what is around me.  All I think about is to enjoy the places with the people I love, wherever we may be.  

Stephen still dreams of travelling and, yes, he'll drag me along. And I'll go with a heavy heart but he's always fun and he'll make every journey with him a memorable and exciting one.

And if anyone can make me have a change of heart, it'll be him.

Who knows?  Maybe I'll dream again of far-off places when that time comes.