Nothing is better than this

Image from Pinterest

  

Stephen loves kids.  In general, he finds every baby or toddler so cute while I reserve judgement in some cases!  Hence, it isn't any wonder that he is fantastic with children.

Even the kids in our neighbourhood know him by name.  

More than anything else, I love how he loves Jared, Gwen and little Cayla.  It is a blessing beyond compare.

Day 27 Christmas Magic

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We've had the children with us since the 22nd and we've made memories during our quiet moments as well as when we are rolling on the floor laughing out loud.  It's what has made this holiday season magical and precious.

We never really know if or whether we will make it through to the next Christmas, so it's important to make each day count.  I think in these last days, we have done just that.  

The kids go back today and we return to our usual routine but that's also okay because as long as Stephen and I together, we'll be fine.

TEAMNOKIDS

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It's hard to comprehend life without kids after having them.  So it's fairer for those with kids to make a comparison rather than those without them.

Those without can only imagine or maybe they cannot since they will never know what having kids is all about.

I'm not talking about those who want but cannot have any for medical or physical reasons.  

I'm talking about those who can but who choose not to and then say how lucky they are without kids.  The truth is that they do not and can never know.

The reality is that they are #TeamDon'tKnowKids.

57 years today

Image from Twitter

It was a lovely surprise that the children conspired, with Stephen, to appear suddenly at nearly 2 am on Saturday morning.  There was a flurry of messages going on between them without my knowledge. Certainly a well-kept secret because I was totally taken aback when they arrived.  

I was not at all in a celebratory mood.  I hardly ever make a fuss over my birthday.  It's just another day for me.  This year I did find my thoughts drifting to my dad who died at the age of 57.  And now I'm his age!  He seemed so much older than I feel now.

But the kids always bring a buzz with them.  Their youth and zest for life is catching.  For this reason alone, I did feel thankful and blessed that they came.  As I commented to a friend, "money cannot buy" the presence of my nearest and dearest. It's a present in and of itself.  

As the day comes to an end, it's wonderful to just breathe in the moment and remember that life is to be lived.  

I will go to bed tonight thinking of this bible verse as I begin my 57th year around the sun!

Image from Pinterest

My cup runneth over

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Jared tied the knot at the ROM on Monday, 30 November 2015 after five years of courtship.  Their church wedding will be in 2016. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Young love is so wonderful.  

It's a week since and we're still deliriously happy that everything went so well. The simple ceremony, lovely lunch and dinner/drinks session all made for a totally memorable day. 

While it was quite exciting to finally hear the words, "you are now husband and wife", the defining "moment" for me was during the lunch when I suddenly looked around and felt overwhelmed by all the good people there who love this young couple so unconditionally.  It's a beautiful thing to be surrounded by so much positive energy.

My MIL congratulated me twice.  I can understand her joy. Jared is her first grandson!  I have been immensely blessed to have her as my MIL.  She has been a great role model with her love, encouragement and support for everything I've done.  

Katherine Hepburn nailed it by saying that it's not about what you are expecting to get.  It's always about what you are expecting to give.  May Jared and Gwen hold this message in their hearts and be blessed always by all the love that surrounds them.

My cup runneth over.... 

Image from WWW

Being a Mom

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It's true!! And I'm sure most moms will agree with me.

While I have had personal satisfaction from all the paying jobs I ever had, the best sense of gratification has been from being a mom.

Maybe I feel this now because my child is all grown up and when he was younger I didn't have the luxury of thinking about this at all. Everyday was a rush and now when I look back, they were fleeting moments.  It didn't seem that way when I was living it but now upon reflection, those days are so distant and seem to be in fast forward mode. 

Today he's 29 years old.  At 1.17 pm that day, a child was born and changed me forever.

What comes to mind always when I think of him is this bible verse ~

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Beauty in the ugly.

Image from WWW

Exactly a month ago, a normal five hour journey turned into a nine hour trip.  Was I annoyed?  Not really.  

I've learnt to always find the positive no matter what life throws my way.  The nine hour trip gave me an opportunity to be with my kids and to talk (no escape for them!).  Usually in the hustle and bustle of daily life, there is hardly time but here I was given an opportunity to listen and enjoy the steady drone of my children talking.  It's a sound that I missed and didn't even realise until that moment.

Now I look back and feel greatly blessed that we had a safe trip back.  "It could have been worse", I always say.

On that very same highway, I once had a burst tyre while driving but I was able to manoeuvre to the side of the road without any untoward incident.  Another time was when the car in front of me did a sudden flip (like in the movies) and landed in the ditch.  On both occasions, I was shaken but grateful that nothing serious happened.  I consider myself truly blessed.

In KL, the kids always look after me and I enjoy the attention. They're both very kind and loving.  I couldn't ask for any better than them. 

What was the beauty in that ugly long trip?  The precious time I had with Jared and Gwen.  Priceless!

Countdown: 43 days to Christmas.

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The moment we become parents, the joy of Christmas is magnified exponentially.

There's something about having a child to give the spirit of giving a whole different meaning.

Cute image from Pinterest

Half a year and half a smile :-)

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Half a year has gone by already.  I just don't know where time has gone.

Stephen often tells me that once American Idol is over, time just picks up speed. Hahahahahahaha.  We didn't even watch it this year.  How many have there been? Thirteen!  So he's said it that many times!  Funny guy!

Then when 9 August comes  and goes, he'll say, "Time to play Christmas carols now".  The truth is that he plays them as and when he feels like it.  This always makes me smile because thoughts of Christmas bring happy memories.

June ended with a nice Eurasian meal with cousins and some catching up.  Sometimes I am so happy I could just burst.  Actually, I was so full that I felt I could burst.  I ate too much! :-(

So July has started!  The kids are coming again for a short stay and we are already thinking of how to cram everything into those days.

I hope I shan't neglect my blog as much as I did in June.  After all, what else would there be to do later in life except to flip through these postings and reminisce. 

R n R means ...

I looked forward to seeing this on my return to Singapore

Many people say that Singapore is not their ideal place to live in, because because because...  I don't care to list the reasons since I am not them.  For me, it's been home for over two years now and I have come to love it.  

We took a short trip to Batam Island again.  This time, instead of the Waterfront Resort, we chose to be in the City Centre.  Being a city girl, it was more my cup of tea. Plus we had the kids with us and they make for a very nice extra double pair of helping hands.  

It never ceases to amaze me how readily these kids rush to carry our stuff or to be attentive to our needs. A table of four makes for a livelier conversation and the food shared always taste better. It made our holiday just that much nicer. 

After the sea breeze, a little pampering and shopping, I've returned to Singapore very much R n R.  

Rested and relaxed.

Refreshed and renewed.

Ready and raring to go.

Let me give...

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Last year, before I moved to Singapore, I had a lunch date with Jared.  We talked about life as we usually do.  We talked about all that we'd been through together.  We talked about the future and how our lives would once again evolve to start a new chapter. 

Even when I thought I knew everything about my son, he surprised me when he revealed that he had registered to be an organ donor.  I didn't know when or why or how.  I think I was speechless.  He found it fun to watch me squirm when he said, "I am an organ donor for everything, even my skin".  

It wasn't something I had expected to hear and as the shock wore off, it began to sink in that I had not expected this.  We always think we know our children but we never really know them.  

Here was a young man, in his mid-twenties, thinking of helping others, beyond his life.  I have to admit that I felt a strong sense of pride.

No one needs to tell me.  Where Jared is concerned, I know I have done well.

Revenge is sweet...

Pic from FB

I love the beginnings of each month.  It means that we get new US TV series which we can watch at anytime that we like.  

Before, I used to be so happy when I could be the first to watch a show or movie.  Now I've changed my mind.  When Revenge 2 began showing in the US, I was wondering if I should subscribe to it and watch it.  Somehow I didn't get around to doing it and and I forgot about it for a bit.

When March arrived, there were 3 episodes of Revenge 2.  In April, they added another 5 episodes.  The good thing is that it's available to us, since we subscribe to the US TV Series.

Recently, the children came to visit.  How did we start the holiday?   GG and I watched all eight episodes (back to back), stopping only for dinner.  I was glad that I hadn't paid earlier to watch one episode at a time.  It was more fun to watch the episodes one after the other.  In May, we'll get the remaining episodes!  GG, will you be coming back??

Most of the other TV series have complete seasons available.  People usually ask me what I do with my time.  Well, this is one of the things that I do.  

It's such a simple thing but gives me much pleasure.  The only snag is that once I start watching a TV series, I almost always find myself stuck in front of the TV till I've watched the entire season.  

Once I was up until 4 am watching Criminal Minds.  That's my record so far.

If SFG is not working and begins watching a series with me, we usually have a kind of picnic in front of the TV.  I think our record was 3 am watching Person of Interest Season 2.  

Thankfully, I can do all this now without worrying about being tired the next day.  Even if I wake up early, I can snooze anytime I want.  Such is the life of a retiree!

Nothing like bonding.

Pic from FB

The children just spent six days with us.  This time around, it was less hurried or harried.  We'd done the touristic stuff before, well, most of it!  Now we just did the usual day-to-day routine things and, of course, the ever important meeting up with some family members.

It's nice when there is no deadline to beat and no timetable to stick to because it's when stories come out.  

This time around, it was a story that touched me and one that I didn't know about.  

Jared said that when he started primary school, he would carry a picture of me and if he felt lost or lonely or scared, he'd take a quick look at it.  Looking at my photo made him feel better, he said.

I never knew that he did this until he casually mentioned it.  The image of him needing to do that made my heart ache a little.  I didn't realise that in his own way, he'd found the solution to facing his own realities and fears.  He was only seven or eight then.  Even so young, he was very much a survivor, just like I am.

Did he know I carried a picture of him and his brother with me?  Each time I needed to face another challenge, I only had to look at the picture of them.  Unknown to each other, we'd both done the same thing, when we needed a boost.

Now that he is a grown man, I think he understands and values this connection that we have, in a different way.

This bond we share: there really is nothing quite like it.  Not for me, anyway. Not for him, either.

All this and more...

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All this is true, for sure.  What's missing is that it doesn't end there!

Many worry about not having time for fun or peace of mind but all that comes again, later in life. When the kids are all grown up, they live their own life but their joys and successes become your own.  Even their thrills and spills get the heart pumping with excitement.

So when the children are in their mid-20s, what next?  The visitssssssss!  Their taking time off from their world to be in our world just makes me want to burst with joy. 

There are no more worries about looking after them.  Now they can look after themselves.  This is the cycle of life and all their growing years seem so fleeting.

Once, they were so needy and helpless and they are now all grown up and helpful.

The kids are on their way to us!!  Again!!!!  If you have children, you'll know what I'm feeling right now.  

So blessed, I can't contain it!  Yeehaw!

Okay, I shouldn't be here now.  I have a million things to do!  The kids are coming today!  Got to go now.

Nudge or Judge

Into each life some rain must fall,

Some days must be dark and dreary.

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I hate it when something happens and old feelings are resurrected from what I thought were long buried.

The recent death of William Yau sent everyone reeling.  

Parents felt the sharp pangs of fear gripping them.  Brothers/sisters everywhere imagine or try to imagine what losing a sibling feels like.  People sob, cry, rant and rave.

Then the unbelievable happens (at least for me).  People start blaming the parents.

Why does it always have to be this way?

Don't they know that the parents are already going through hell?  

Finding William dead doesn't bring closure in any form.  It heralds a beginning of millions of seconds thinking, re-thinking about that day.  It is the start of living, re-living the events of that fatal day.

Even if any child died of natural causes, the parent still goes through the trauma of that day.  Each painful memory runs through the mind at the speed of light.  These thoughts criss-cross and overlap until sometimes one cannot know what is real anymore.  It is unimaginable unless you have lost a child.

William's parents are grieving.  

Why don't people just give them a nudge and say "take care"? 

The excruciating pain of losing a child is enough, if you want to judge them.

So will you nudge or judge?

To spank or not to spank!

Pic from FB

There's a short but healthy debate about discipline after I shared this picture on Facebook.  I respect that everyone has an opinion and it's always good to read and know how others think.  Either it adds to our thought patterns or it changes how we look at things.

I believe that discipline is good in whatever form you think is right for your family.  It is not something you choose to do but more likely that you need to do.

I've seen parents being emotionally blackmailed by their children.  

I've seen parents sitting helplessly at dinners while their children misbehave.

I've seen parents allowing their children to throw fruits at guests.

How did it get to this?

On Facebook, I mentioned that I was never spanked.  Actually, the more accurate thing would have been to say that I was never spanked by my Dad.  

My parents played the good cop/bad cop game with us.  Hahahaha

BUT nearly an hour later, I suddenly remembered that my Mom did spank me. I must have been 8 or 9 years old.  I vaguely recall that it was for not cleaning a room.  Mom allowed us to make a mess provided we clean it up.  We made the mess and then ran off to play outside.  When we got home, she smacked us.  

Truthfully, I can barely remember being smacked.  But the shame of being punished for not doing something I was supposed to do stayed with me.  It taught me that I should never make a promise and not keep it. 

It wasn't the spanking that hurt.  It was that I had let my Mom down.  She had trusted us to play until the room was a complete mess.  She had trusted us to clean up after that.  We didn't.

I learnt from that.  Maybe I could also have learnt if she had 'talked' to us instead of spanking us.  I don't know.  I only know that the spanking didn't hurt me.  Not in the way that people say they are scarred for life when their parents hit them.

I believe in spanking, when it is necessary.  I think that a little spanking is good for the child's growth.

"To each his own", I believe.

My children can make me cry!

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As I get older, I find that the tears come more easily.  When the children say something loving and sweet, I feel like crying.  When they come to visit, I want to cry.  When they go off, again I feel like crying.  Why?  I don't really know.  

Today, one of them shared a video on Facebook and when I saw it, I was so moved by it.  

Then she added this comment "We are not Olympians. But the fact that we all love and appreciate you, is enough to show you that you have succeeded in the hardest and toughest job in the world!"

Snif snif.  

To all my children, 

Remember that I am so grateful to have you all in my world (tears included).

Pic from FB

What???

Pic from Facebook

The Christmas month is here.  I used to dread this month.  No, not because Christmas was around the corner but because the moment December came by, I would have to start with the Christmas decorations for our Malaysian home.  It was always a tiring chore because I'd work all day and then come home to have a quick dinner and then start with the second round of work.  Albeit a more pleasant one than office work, but back-breaking, all the same.  Then when the weekend rolled by, I'd be on it full-steam to make good use of the time.  It usually took me a good two-weeks to get everything out and up and then it would be just tweaking everything until the eve.  Then I would be done! That was the old me!

The new me had the Singapore home all ready for Christmas before mid-November because my girls were coming for a visit.  I wanted them to have the Christmas spirit.  So I started early and I was given the 'stamp of approval' by my boss, Stephen. 

Some neighbours dropped by and said that everything is lovely.  I think Christmas makes everybody kinder.  :)

It's the first time ever that I have been ready for Christmas so early.  My brother would usually call me to tell me when his tree was up.  My then colleague used to say that her tree and whole house was done by 1 November.  I used to be so intimidated by them.  Not anymore!  

Hey, it's my first Christmas season without any other hassle.  I'm loving it.

Who's doing the Malaysian home for Christmas?  Well, somebody will do it.  Pssssstt  GG!!!!!!!!  December is already here!!!!!!!!!!

Dear November

Dear November,

I got so much done this month and I made great memories. 

What do I want to remember most?

*Prepping home for visits

*Shopping for Christmas stuff

*Esther arriving and spending a night with us.

*My girls coming for a short holiday here.

*Universal Studios for the second time.

*Boat Quay

*Clarke Quay

*China Town

*Orchard Road all decked out for Christmas

*Birthday celebration 

*Cycling along Pasir Ris Beach

*Getting caught in the rain

*Newborns (two grandnephews)

*Mom's last hospital appointment for this year

Yay!  Did I say Yay?

December, I'm so ready for you!

Love from

Lita

9 months already...

If I had conceived 9 months ago, I could have had a baby right about now. It's funny how we measure our milestones by other events even when they have absolutely nothing to do with what we are celebrating.

What am I celebrating? Nine months of being official retired.

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The first year is always dotted by the first month, the first trimester, half-year, nine months and, finally, the culmination of 12 months.

Since 2013 is not a leap year, my probation period will end at midnight on 28 February next year.  After that date, I shall consider myself to be a full-fledged retiree.

Those who know me felt that I wouldn't be able to switch from being a  full-time working wife/mom to doing nothing.  Heck, I love doing nothing.

What is the one word that can best describe my retirement so far?  

Magical.  

I cannot remember ever being happier than this.  All the sacrifices I have made, seem to have been worth it.

With the kids now all grown up and working, our life here is different.  But we've had them visit us at different times and we are so thankful for that.

Just yesterday, Stephen said that I should have retired earlier and come over here sooner.  I replied that there is a time and place for everything.

Guess what?  

This is, now, my time and my place.

Pic from FB