Saying goodbye

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This month has been one of mixed events.  Some so wonderful that it takes a quiet moment to soak in the loveliness of it all.  Others so sharp and painful that we can almost taste the sourness in our hearts.

This month, we had to say good bye to a friend.  He was a good man.  He was a kind man.  He lived a good life and we were sad to learn that he had passed on suddenly.  Although he was old, he never showed his age and seemed immortal.  His death is a grim reminder that we aren't here forever and that we should love as much and as hard as possible.  

We will miss him just like we miss all the ones who have gone before us.  It's never easy but life goes on. 

Rest in peace, Cyril De witt.  Thank you for touching our lives.  

Rest in peace, all my loved ones.  So many of you gone too soon.  

We part only to meet again one day!

Being a hypocrite...

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We all put on a mask with people.  Only the real friends see behind that and still love you.  They don't expect you to be perfect.  They understand that it's okay to reach a place where both don't see the same thing or reach the same conclusion.  It's fine to agree to disagree.

Sometimes when you drop the hypocricy and speak your mind, it can change how your friends react.  They're comfortable and happy with you only when you wholeheartedly accept what they say. It's one-sided and that's how they like it.

"Don't change", they say.  Because they want you to echo their sentiments and show blind support.  

The minute you have an opinion that differs, they don't like it. "Why are you so mean?", they say.  "Why do you want to hurt me?", they question.  

They want that familiar path where everything is as they say it is and you must get on board or face the consequences.

When did being a hypocrite become the biggest criteria for being a good friend?

Why is it necessary to remain a hypocrite to retain and sustain any friendship?

It's one thing to be a crutch for a friend in need but when that is taken to be the full-time role, then the friendship is tainted.

Friends cannot always want to hear only the things that agree with their soul.  They have to be ready to hear and bear with the other side too!

True friendship is saying what you truly feel and knowing that the other person will accept what you say because it's your truth!  It's not for the other person to pick and choose when you can speak out or not.  It's a level-playing field.

I have made tons of friends along this journey and I have also lost many too.  It's always sad but it's also a progression when you are able to move on because you have no desire to remain the "old you" just for them.  You're the "new you" and you are happy.

In this ever-changing world, I think it takes a whole lot of courage to stop being a hypocrite and be who you are.  Even if it means that you have to let go of some people, it's part of the learning and growing process. And it can be beautiful when you know how to be you!

BEYOUTIFULL

Friends...

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I have tons of friends.  While this is what many would also say, I'm sure most would agree that some of our friends are really just friends when things go their way and the moment that it doesn't, WOOOOOOOOSH, out come the expletives and all the negativity.

It seems that a friend is supposed to never say NO, never disagree, never disappoint and surely never to rock the boat.  If this is the criteria, I fail, fail, fail and surely fail.

For me, friends are the ones with whom I will have differences of opinions and/or with whom I am able to say "I cannot" because they will love me just the same.

What I've learnt is that friends will come and friends will go but the good ones will always be there and will always remain in your lives.

Dumbledore got it right!  *grins*

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I'm mightily blessed that in the last year, I've had only good people in my circle.  *clasps hands in prayer of thanksgiving*

Today in 1992

My journey, or rather one of them, started in 1992 and ended in 2012.

It seems like I never ever worked at the Embassy of Peru for twenty years.  How easy it has been to forget and leave it all behind!!!!

When I was teetering on whether or not to do it, I was in a short state of turmoil but when I decided, I just went ahead without thinking more and now it's already over three years since I've left.  

Today a reminded popped up in my online calendar that said "Peru Embassy Anniversary".  I don't even remember putting that detail in my calendar.  I must have done it since it came up together with my other appointments for the day.

Nice moment that brought when I look back at the friends I made and still contact via email or whatsapp.  

Looking back, it had molded me for the greater good.  I learnt so many things during those years and some of those lessons hold me in good stead today.  How awesome is that!!!

A different kind of difference

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There are many people who come and go in our lives. Some leave us better people and others, well, they gave us a taste of what being bitter is all about.

I'm not one to waste too much time analysing or dissecting when any relationship goes awry.  I'll give it my best shot and then if it works, it's great but if it doesn't, I'll just move on.  

I did this for most of my life.  Yes, I've gained and lost along the way but nothing is permanent in this ever-changing world.

I felt a bit nostalgic this weekend because a friend sent me a text for Teacher's Day.  She was my student in the 80s and even when we never saw much of each other, we eventually became quite close and we feel a bond of love for one another.

What struck me and touched my heart was that she still remembered me as a teacher.  It's been over 30 years since I taught her but she still holds those memories.  I'd forgotten that was how we first met!

This greeting from her made me smile all day and little did she know that I've noticed she never misses to wish me whenever Teacher's Day comes along (since we reconnected).

Most teachers never get to see if they made a difference in the lives of their students.  They just do their job and hope that everyone will end up better than when they first came.

My friend, however, has given me a glimmer of the seed planted long ago and shown me that I made a difference in her life just as she continues to do for my life.

There are other students who have kept in touch and who have also shown love and appreciation but the one that stands out is Wendy Voo.

Thank you for the loving and lovely message on Saturday and on every other occasion too.  It made me remember why I love teaching so much. 

It's knowing that I made a difference in the life of just one person that makes it all so wonderful.