Rules are made to be broken.

These days I keep reminding myself that I should do what I feel like doing.  Mostly I spend my days reading, watching TV, replying mails, browsing online, and chatting with good people on whatsapp.  

Since over a month ago, I've started exercising which is breaking a rule of my own since I don't much like physical activity.  But it's been good since Stephen bought me a Fitbit and I can track my progress.  And I have done pretty well since then!  Slowly but surely I am building up my stamina.

I used to follow a regimen of doing my duty but what exactly is that!  My sense of duty stems from a whole life of hearing that we must do what we are supposed to do.  I never realised how strongly this became my inner voice until I retired.  And even then, the influence of this indoctrination ran deep because to rid myself of it, I had to make a conscious effort to decide otherwise.  

Often, I would put others first and later feel like I had short-changed myself.  And even if people say, "you'll feel good", it wears off pretty quickly.  I know.  I've been there.

Now I have learnt to relax more and just do what suits my mood best.  

When Stephen is not at work, we do what we like because there are no rules and regulations.  We like to keep it that way.  We live according to each other's needs and wants and the rest can take a number and wait! Sounds cold but in the end, we are the ones who will matter and not anybody else.  

I learn as I grow older. And I'm still learning. 

Moving forward

Image from Instagram

Recently I was chatting with a friend and he said that he hated it when people told him to "Move on" or "Move forward" whenever he lamented about anything.  It amused me because even if he didn't want to, he was moving forward.

No matter how we dislike the notion of letting the past go, we unconsciously leave a bit behind each day until, suddenly, it no longer becomes an issue.

I know there are people who do mean things daily and don't think twice of it but my friend is one of those who knew he did mean or terrible things.  He regrets having done that.  He wishes he hadn't done them. However, he has moved on, knowing that he can be different from who he was.

In a way, this is true for all of us.  We shed the skin of who we were and we are a new person each and every day!

No one gets to say that we never change. We all change and no one gets to say that they know us well.  No one can because we do change; whether we like it and whether we know it or not.

Being a hypocrite...

Image from Facebook

We all put on a mask with people.  Only the real friends see behind that and still love you.  They don't expect you to be perfect.  They understand that it's okay to reach a place where both don't see the same thing or reach the same conclusion.  It's fine to agree to disagree.

Sometimes when you drop the hypocricy and speak your mind, it can change how your friends react.  They're comfortable and happy with you only when you wholeheartedly accept what they say. It's one-sided and that's how they like it.

"Don't change", they say.  Because they want you to echo their sentiments and show blind support.  

The minute you have an opinion that differs, they don't like it. "Why are you so mean?", they say.  "Why do you want to hurt me?", they question.  

They want that familiar path where everything is as they say it is and you must get on board or face the consequences.

When did being a hypocrite become the biggest criteria for being a good friend?

Why is it necessary to remain a hypocrite to retain and sustain any friendship?

It's one thing to be a crutch for a friend in need but when that is taken to be the full-time role, then the friendship is tainted.

Friends cannot always want to hear only the things that agree with their soul.  They have to be ready to hear and bear with the other side too!

True friendship is saying what you truly feel and knowing that the other person will accept what you say because it's your truth!  It's not for the other person to pick and choose when you can speak out or not.  It's a level-playing field.

I have made tons of friends along this journey and I have also lost many too.  It's always sad but it's also a progression when you are able to move on because you have no desire to remain the "old you" just for them.  You're the "new you" and you are happy.

In this ever-changing world, I think it takes a whole lot of courage to stop being a hypocrite and be who you are.  Even if it means that you have to let go of some people, it's part of the learning and growing process. And it can be beautiful when you know how to be you!

BEYOUTIFULL