Alarm Bells Ringing

I haven't needed an alarm clock for a very long time.  The moment that cellular phones came equipped with an alarm option, I began using it.  I think that today many people do this already.  They use their cellular phones in place of the good old alarm clocks.  If this is the case then, are alarm clocks already obsolete, I wonder?

Most times I can wake up before the alarm rings and this is only because I love to put it off before it breaks the silence of the morning.  When I am tired, then the alarm wakes me up but usually it is a nice piece of music that does the job.

When I was still working, it was "Finally by Fergie" that started my day.  I loved how it started with "Ever since I was a baby girl, I had a dream...".  Give it a listen here.

Ever since I was a baby girl I had a dream

Cinderella theme

Crazy as it seems

Always knew that deep inside

that there would come that day

But I would have to wait

Make so many mistakes

I couldn't comprehend 

As I watched it unfold

This classic story told I left it in the cold

Walking through unopen doors that led me back to you

Each one unlocking more of the truth

I finally stopped tripping on my youth

I finally got lost inside of you

I finally know I needed to grow

And finally my mate has met my soul

[chorus]

Finally

Now my destiny can begin

Though we will have our differences

Something strange and new is happening

Finally 

Now my life doesn't seem so bad

It's the best that I've ever had

Give my love to him finally

MMMMMMMM

I remember the beginning you already knew 

I acted like a fool

Just trying to be cool

Fronting like it didn't matter

I just ran away

Put on another face

Was lost in my own space

Found what it's like to hurt selfishly

I was scared to give up me

Afraid to just believe

I was in a jealous, insecure, pathetic place

Stumbled through the mess that I have made

I Finally got out of my own way

I Finally started living for today

I finally know I needed to grow

And finally my mate has met my soul

[chorus]

Finally 

Now my destiny can begin 

Though we will have our differences

Something strange and new is happening

Finally

Now my life doesn't seem so bad

It's the best that I've ever had

Give my love to him finally

MMMMMMMM

Finally, Finally yea...

Finally 

Now my destiny can begin 

Though we will have our differences

Something beautiful is happening,is happening

Finally

Now my life doesn't seem so bad

It's the best that I've ever had

Give my love to him finally

Ohhhhhhhh!!

Finally, Finally...Finally....

Gone are the days when the jarring sounds emanate from a tiny thing that some people put across the room so that they have to literally get out of bed to shut off.

I don't have that problem.  I can wake up no matter how little sleep I've had the night before.  In fact, I can sleep at 4 am and then wake up at 6 am and I'd be good to go for several hours.  

I used to think that young people would make better candidates at managing with less sleep but I am now convinced that MOTHERS are the ones that win in this category.  They are the ones that have it in them to continue even when they are tired.  There is a hidden gene inside them that is activated once the baby is born.  

For years, I longed for the day when I would never have to set an alarm again and now it's here.  It is as wonderful as I thought it would be.  Finally!

I dream of Jeannie and Larry

From FB

Facebook is showing all the posts that Actor Larry Hagman, TV's iconic villain J. R. Ewing of "Dallas," died on Friday.

Even though I was a fan of Dallas, I remember him better as Air Force Captain (later Major) Anthony Nelson, the 'Master' of the Genie.  The reason being that I was smitten by him in that role.  I was so young.  :)  I wanted to be a genie, too!

It only goes to show that he was such a great actor.  One who was able to make you love him and, later, hate him when he played the ruthless character in Dallas.

Although I knew he was almost thirty years older than I am, it was still a surprise to learn that he was 81.  May his soul rest in peace now.

The one about the turkey.

Pic from FB

Yes, I know I'm not living in the U S of A.  Yes, I know Thanksgiving doesn't exist here.  So what???  It's now a borderless world! There are people who think that if you aren't in the US, you can't write or comment about anything in the US. In their heads, they've bought the exclusive rights!  Heh heh heh.  

Anyway, moving on to reality, here's an anecdote about a turkey since Thanksgiving is just around the corner.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Often when I visit my mom-in-law, we talk about things that she remembers from her youth. At 76, she is still able to vividly recall the days when the kids were growing up.  Her mind is not as sharp as it must have been 5 years ago but she can remember a lot of the happier and older stories.  

The one about the turkey is her most recent recollection.

I don't know how we came to the topic of turkeys.  Anyway, she mentioned to me that when Stephen was a little boy, he used to play in the neighbour's garden.  He didn't know that she had a turkey at the back.  

Pic from Photobucket

He was about 5 years old and when he saw that turkey and he had such a fright.  He ran to his Aunt C and said that there was a Red Indian Chief at the back.  Hilarious!!!

This almost forgotten memory made my mom-in-law laugh out loud.  Seeing her enjoy this old story made me happy.  More important is that, if not for our chatting, I would never have known this snippet from Stephen's childhood.

Why I write...

pic from Facebook

I don't know when I began to think of all the stories locked up inside my head.  I wondered what would become of them if I didn't share them with anybody.  I suppose that some family member or friend would be able to recount an incident but it wouldn't be in my words nor from my perspective.

Some of the memories I've shared on STEEST about losing a husband and losing a child helped me to move on.   They also serve as a record of the events, from my point of view.

I don't know why I continue to write.  Some part of me believes that, in the distant future, my grandchildren may be curious enough to google my name and chance upon my blog and to read about me. It could also be that my son will have a piece of me, in cyberspace, when I am gone.  

Now that my grandmother is dead, I realise that there are so many things about her that I didn't know.  There are so many questions that I could have asked her, should have asked her but didn't think to do so.

While I am uncertain whether or not my descendants will even bother about me, I will, at least, know that a lot of my thoughts are in my blog.  If even one of them is curious, they'll be able to hear my voice.

They'll know bits and pieces about me that I wish I knew about my grandmother.  

And if Facebook still exists then, they'll see my project 366 of a photo a day for 2012.  I don't know yet if I will carry on with this project in 2013 and I'll decide on the last day of this year, that is, if the prophecies are all wrong and the world doesn't end this December!!!

pic from Facebook

PS
If you are not my Facebook friend and you'd like to see the project, let me know and I might just send you the link!  :D

What old people like to say.......

It's very often that I hear old people say they would rather be at home than go to a Nursing Home.  Of course, it's understandable that no one wants to be removed from the family members and all the familiar trappings.

However, I wonder if these old people will be good patients at home and disciplined enough to follow a strict regimen when it is necessary.

It's always easy to say I would rather stay home rather than go to a Nursing Home because it's better for my mental well-being.  There is also the parent/child card played in this 'game' that says we should never abandon our folks after they have looked after us and sacrificed so much.

What about the caregivers?  Should children be forced into becoming caregivers when they don't have the resources or emotional strength to enforce rules upon their aged parents.

I don't know if I could be a caregiver and I wouldn't pretend that I could.  I am practical enough to know that the care given in a Nursing Home may lack the emotional comfort of home but it will get the job done for the good of the patient.

If my Mom were to tell me that she's hungry and I know that she has to watch her food, I'd not be happy controlling her food intake.

If she needs to watch how much water she drinks in a day, I don't know if I could say NO.  

If she helps herself to a sweet drink, I would be obliged to stop her.  This is not at all easy.

The easiest would be to get them to take their medicine.  But when you have to refuse them some of the basic things which healthy people take for granted, it can be a very difficult thing to do.

So I sit here and I wonder.

I wonder if all the old people who like to say that they don't want to go to a Nursing Home will be obedient if they are at home with their family.  Or will they be stubborn?

Will the children/caregivers be considered mean and cruel for limiting the water intake because of edema?

Will the children/caregivers be called wicked and selfish when meals have to be carefully proportioned because of diabetes?

Will the children/caregivers be condemned for serving bland food because of diet restrictions?

Yes.  Yes.  Yes.  They will probably be called all sorts of names because people generally tend to take the side of the elderly.

Besides, it's so easy to sit in judgement of others when you don't face the situation yourself.

As I go so often to the Nursing Home, I am privy to a lot of the things that go on.  It is not the best place to be in but it is certainly the better place if the elderly person needs constant supervision.

Sometimes I forget how old I am

SOMETIMES I FORGET how old I AM

I AM just happy to do all that I DO

I DO know that age is just a number FOR ME

FOR ME, what matters is TO BE HAPPY

TO BE HAPPY, I must forget THE PAST

THE PAST helps me to learn from MISTAKES

MISTAKES are life's lessons, I REMEMBER

I REMEMBER that IT'S SO IMPORTANT

IT’S SO IMPORTANT to just LIVE EACH DAY

LIVE EACH DAY with LOVE AND LAUGHTER

LOVE AND LAUGHTER gives GOOD MEMORIES

GOOD MEMORIES add to A HAPPY LIFE

A HAPPY LIFE brings joy to EACH DAY

EACH DAY lived well  and I FEEL YOUNG

I FEEL YOUNG and SOMETIMES I FORGET

SOMETIMES I FORGET HOW OLD I AM

When I am old and frail...

I know that many of my family and friends still consider that a Nursing Home or Old Folks' Home is taboo because we are in Asia.  Likewise there are some who are more open to the concept that the elderly can be happier among their own age group.

I was discussing this with my better half and I told him that if I am unable to care for myself, unable to see to my own medication or look after my own health, I would (if we could afford it) prefer to be in a Nursing Home.

I wouldn't be able to bear the thought that someone has to look after me or attend to my basic needs.  I don't think I will like the idea of having any member of my family putting their life on hold for me.

No matter how people say that it's a duty, it doesn't make it fair.  

Well, this is how I feel now.  I don't know if I will change my thoughts on this when I'm 60, 70  or 80, that is if I live that long.  Maybe I will revisit this post and be reminded of the reasons I feel so strongly about now.

I know there are some parents who expect their children to sacrifice everything for them.  Payback, I'm told.  I don't subscribe to this theory at all.

As a parent, I don't expect my child to do anything for me when I am old.  I only expect love and respect.  Nothing more and nothing less than that will be enough for me.

I wouldn't want to feel that I am a burden or that I am in the way.  I think I could be happy in a Home because I have already decided, in my mind, that it is not a bad place.

Some people think of it as being punished.  I don't.  I think of it as getting the best of both worlds.  The children don't need to worry about taking care of you and you don't have to worry about taking care of yourself.  To me, that is a win-win situation.  

Someone will wash your clothes, change your bedsheets, serve you meals and watch your medication.  What's not to like about that??  After all, I figure that when I'm no longer active, I'll do more of what I already do now like watch TV, read books, write mails and use Facebook.

I think that a Home is what you make it to be.  So when that day comes and I can't look after myself any longer, I'll be glad to go to a Nursing Home.  There is no shame in that.  Not in my books, anyway.

How many of you want to join me????

(pic from photobucket)

Where's your Mama gone?

Just like the song by Middle of the Road!!!

My mom-in-law is in a Nursing Home.  She's in a Nursing Home and not an Old Folks Home.  It's not a state secret!

(pic from Econ Website)

I reckon that this decision made by two of her four children about six years ago turned out to be a life-giving one.

It was not an easy thing to do.  So many people talked and made comments.  I suppose it is always easy to do that when they don't have to face the consequences or shoulder any of the responsibilities.

Today, she is doing okay and especially after having undergone a double bypass last July.  

Would she have made it this far, if she weren't in a Nursing Home?  No one can know the answer.  The only evidence we can have is that she is alive today.

The problem with keeping an elderly person at home is never knowing whether the quality of  care is sufficient and effective.  There are always medical issues that crop up.  Without any proper training, it is an irresponsibility to attempt this.

(pic from photobucket)

So many medical problems that arose during the last six years had been dealt with efficiently by the nurses on duty.  They know when to call the ambulance, how to deal with any symptoms and what to do in an emergency.  

As long as the elderly person is lucid and there are regular visits, I would advocate that the Nursing Home is a better bet.  

The diet is under control.  The medication is precise.  The care is 24 hours.  No matter how much a family member wants to do all this, it is just not humanly possible.  Then resentment sets in and everyone starts to compare who is doing more or less.

There are also cases of those who boast about taking their aged parent in and then isolating them later.  Realising  first-hand that the task is not as easy as it seems.  All the earlier lamenting and commenting about putting a family member in a Nursing Home is really nothing more than not using common sense and intelligence.

Yes, there are horrible stories about some homes.  And there are also horrible children and horrible parents.  Nothing and no one is perfect.

One has to know the limitations and accept that sometimes a neutral and safe environment is better for the elderly.

More tomorrow....

Of Being Fat and Unhealthy

These days, I spend a lot of time with old people and sometimes while there are gems to learn from them, I have found that they haven't been able to let go of fallacies regarding health issues.

To most of them, if you are thin, you are weak and if you are fat, you are healthy.

They are of the notion that if you exercise and lose weight, you are doing something wrong.  If you choose a better diet and eat healthy food, you are doing something sinful.

Their favourite word is, "eat"!

I don't debate with them it because it's pointless.

Of Older People

One of the things I notice about old people is that they always seem interested in the time and the weather.  The day that I begin to check on these things is when I'll know I'm old.

There is an old lady that plays with a deck of cards.  She just opens them one by one and when she gets four of a kind, she pushes them aside until all the fifty-two cards are done.  I think it's a great way for her to pass the time as well as to keep her mind active.  One day, when she didn't realise I was watching, she finished playing and I clapped for her.  It made her so happy to know that she had an audience.  She was beaming with a sense of accomplishment and I gave her a thumbs up.

She hasn't enough strength to shuffle the whole deck of cards so she has to mix them on the table and then arrange them back again.  If I am there, I will give her a hand and shuffle the whole deck of cards for her.  The first time that I did it, she gave me a salute.  Now when I see her, we salute each other and smile.  It's just a small thing between us that I know makes her happy.

It also makes me happy.

(pic from photobucket)