M is for memories and so much more

It's been a long time since I really needed to be anywhere purposefully.  There were many days when I did have to go out even when I didn't feel like it!  Sitting and waiting for results or news didn't make the hours go by quickly!

One solution for me, at that time, was to read but concentration was difficult.  I did some word games and managed to lose myself in it for a bit.  Stephen also joined me to do some of the challenges.  

Then someone said I should doodle.  It should be easy but that was hard for me.  Doodling is fine when you don't think about it like when you're on the phone.  Otherwise, it can be a daunting task to stare at a white page.  Plus, I'm not exactly the creative kind and art was always a chore for me.  Anyway, I gave it a shot and I am glad I kept these to remember those meaningful times.

This was the first page in my doodle notebook!

Naturally, my thoughts were on one person at that time

and so I went with this.

Looking back, I don't even remember doing these!

I just wanted to fill up the time when mom was asleep.

I tried to steer my thoughts to whatever was playing on my mind.

Creativity doesn't come naturally to me!

 I had to struggle to keep at it.

Somehow these doodles helped me through tough times and I'm saving them here as part of my memories and Mom Myra.  

 

 

This is a favourite picture with mom and her trademark smile when we celebrated her birthday in 2013, at Quentin's, with a nice Eurasian meal.  She was still hale and hearty then and I remember how she asked the waiter if they had tosai!  We all had a good laugh.  We still smile when we think about that day!

M is for MANY MEMORIES OF MOM MYRA

Deja vu moments

Image from WWW

I was watching TV when I looked at the clock; it was just after 2 pm.  I had a bit of sudden deja vu.

There was a long period when my eye would always be on the clock as I usually had to leave the house at 3 pm to catch a bus to Toa Payoh Central,  get some snacks, and then catch another bus to see my MIL Myra.

At that time, my life was separated into before, during, and after visits.  Things ran like clockwork.  It became the norm for my daily routine.

Today, I suddenly had the inclination to jump up and get ready but I had no need to.  That phase of my life is over now.  It's strange how old habits unexpectedly kick in, out of the blue. 

So I got online to view old video clips and photos of her.  I am so glad that I had that time with her.  Those moments are my treasures.   

100 days, 4 months and 7 years!

Image from WWW

I wasn't counting but I was told that my brother has been gone for 100 days.  It somehow seems surreal that he isn't around.  We hadn't been physically or emotionally close these last years.  But we always kept in touch with bits and pieces of news.  My last conscious memory of being with him was when he was still in the hospital.  I said I'd see him again after my trip to Sabah.  I hadn't imagined that I would see him at his funeral.  For all that we shared, during the good and bad times, I feel a sense of loss; not a tangible one but a kind of sadness that lingers.  

As with every death, the process of letting go is a personal one. For me, it started when I deleted his name from my list of contacts.  When I type in the letter "T", I notice his name no longer appears and somehow still serves as a reminder that he's gone.  I'll miss him from time to time but I'm glad he is no longer suffering.

On a happier note, my grand-daughter is 4 months old.  She is the epicentre in our lives. I use this word liberally because for Stephen and me, she causes earthquake waves of joy.  There is nothing she can do that doesn't make us gush with pride.  As Stephen says, "even her crying is cute".  I'm not so sure of that.  Now that she is back in KL, we will visit her more because it's nearer.  Having said this, our three trips to Sabah were just lovely and a nice break from our routine in Singapore.  We wouldn't have wanted to miss that holiday time either.  But now that she's closer, we're already thinking of when we will go and see her.  

It's exciting to be grandparents.  It is unexplainable feelings of complete and utter bliss to have a grandchild.  It is everything and more that we could ever have imagined.  She doesn't know it yet but her Pops (as he will be called) will be putty in her hands.  Oh well, happy days are ahead for her and, I suspect, for him too.

I almost cannot believe that 7 years ago, I started this blog after my previous one had a glitch.  Neither would it have been possible for me to know that today would be a triple kind of memory anniversary.  We never really know what the future holds and I like what Maya Angelou says about being present in the present.  If I will be honest, it pretty much sums up the 3 events today: forgivingly, prayerfully and gratefully.  

And with that in mind, I remember what my brother once said to me many, many years ago, "let the dead rest in peace and the living go on living".  

Counting what counts

Image from WWW

How fast the days are going by!!!!  I have hardly been on the laptop since I opted out of Facebook.  Before it was a "must-do-first-thing-in-the-morning" so I could have my coffee and browse through all the notifications and go through the timeline.  It's almost six months since I left and it has turned out to be a blessing in disguise.  I have accomplished much more than I expected to and was out of the house less grudgingly.  

Before, leaving my online friends at home made me worry that I was neglecting them.  So silly of me to think that I should live more in the virtual world than in the real.  I look back and analyse this behaviour and see that it was related to my retirement.  The freedom to do whatever and whenever got the better of me and I found myself enjoying the virtual life.  It was fun while it lasted but now I am living in the real world.  It could be likened to taking a long vacation but now it's over and I'm back on terra firma.  

Now, I have had more time to think about me and how I spend my days.  I don't have to worry about responding to comments or seeing how people inadvertently show their true selves.  While it did take a while for me to get over some of the online toxic stuff, there is always enough goodness to replace those things.  

We are like sponges and we absorb whatever we are exposed to.  Thankfully if we listen to enough blessings and good news, the negativity can be reversed.  That's God's Grace in Action.

We can count on God.  For me that's counting on what really counts.

Image from WWW

Half a year and half a smile :-)

Pic from Facebook

Half a year has gone by already.  I just don't know where time has gone.

Stephen often tells me that once American Idol is over, time just picks up speed. Hahahahahahaha.  We didn't even watch it this year.  How many have there been? Thirteen!  So he's said it that many times!  Funny guy!

Then when 9 August comes  and goes, he'll say, "Time to play Christmas carols now".  The truth is that he plays them as and when he feels like it.  This always makes me smile because thoughts of Christmas bring happy memories.

June ended with a nice Eurasian meal with cousins and some catching up.  Sometimes I am so happy I could just burst.  Actually, I was so full that I felt I could burst.  I ate too much! :-(

So July has started!  The kids are coming again for a short stay and we are already thinking of how to cram everything into those days.

I hope I shan't neglect my blog as much as I did in June.  After all, what else would there be to do later in life except to flip through these postings and reminisce. 

Spoiled or Spoilt

Pic from WWW

I guess this must be an image from America because of the word 'spoiled'.  Apparently, the US uses it while the majority of the English-speaking world prefer the term "spoilt". Well, no matter what the spelling, it sums up exactly where I am today.

Long ago before we got married, Stephen told me that all I needed to do was love him and he'd do the rest.  It was not something I took lightly and it was quite a romantic declaration.  Often, I think of that moment, smile and feel fuzzy all over.  I must be a romantic at heart! LOL

That thought did play a huge part in my decision to get married and he has not asked for anything more than that.  Bless his soul.

I would never have believed that it would be so simple. 

Love begets love.

Close to Perfection

Image picked up from Facebook

If only...

It really would be wonderful if I could find a bed like this.  

And while I'm dreaming, I'd need a cook to prepare  and serve my meals.

~ ~ ~

June has been a very busy month for me.  I hadn't realised that I neglected my blog.  But all is well, a short holiday took up my first week.  I intended to blog about it but didn't get around to putting my thoughts in words.

Then I enrolled in a six-week course which really ate up all my free time.  But I am enjoying it and feel a tad sad that it's ending soon but I solved that by signing up for another one scheduled in October this year. 

When all is said and done and when life seems perfect, there really isn't much time to sit and write.  But I force myself so that I can return one day and remember the blissful moments.

June has been near perfect. July promises to be even better.  I can't wait!

Moments = Memories

We do pretty much everything together.  Only when it involves strenuous exercise, then I sit it out.

Overall, it's nice to wake up together, dress up, have a late breakfast, return home and realise that not going out is just as delicious a choice!

Often, I find my coffee already made when I wake up and it's these little things that make me cherish our private moments.  There's so much to feel blessed about and I am grateful.

Moments when we are together, when added together, make memories.