Of two old souls

Image from Pinterest

Approximately 21,919 days ago, Stephen Felix Grosse was born on 20 November 1959.  

It would have been a miracle for us to have met earlier because we grew up in different countries.  Moreover, our paths never crossed, when we were children, even though our families were seemingly linked via the wife of my uncle.

That's real life, I guess.  Perhaps an earlier connection wouldn't have made a difference or impact.  We only met at a time when we were ready to fit in each other's lives.

We are so different yet the same.  Often I think unlike poles attract and yet we are also alike.  

We had a quiet celebration for his birthday.  I did ask if he would have liked a big bash since it was his 60th but he wasn't interested. In this, we are alike.  There was no fanfare or party!!!  Looks like we don't need a specific day to be happy.  On the days that he doesn't work is when we have a date or eat at home and really it is celebration enough.  Not just one day here and there but every time that we spend together is special.  Yeah, it sounds clichéd but isn't this how it should be!

I had always thought that we would celebrate our 60th year because it is a milestone but somehow it has paled in comparison to becoming grandparents.  Having a grand-daughter changed our focus completely!  Our conversations are always about Cayla Gail and how important she is to this new chapter of our 60th year!  

In fact, she is quite like a 60th year birthday present that keeps growing and growing.  We feel so awesomely blessed.

So 2019, thank you for a superb 60th year from two old souls. 

Be proud to be you

Image from Facebook

When I left Facebook some years ago, I also left behind some friends with whom I had reconnected after a long lapse of silence.   I may have lost those ties but if I have an email address, I like to send a birthday wish via email even if I don't expect a reply.

Then, surprisingly, replies to two birthday greetings that I sent out in July and forgotten about appeared in my inbox.

One didn't reply earlier because of work and travelling and the other was just a random chance that an old email account was checked!  Whatever happened, I was just happy to receive news and also to know that they knew I remembered.

One of them wrote, "I'm sure likewise you, too, would have been shaped into a person closer to what you really are by the changing parades of events and people."

This made me think a bit and there's a lot of truth in it.  Today another person mentioned this and said, "our ego loses power as we mellow".  Again, it made it me think a bit more and prompted me to write here. 

  

There's power in not pretending to be like others.

There's power in not pretending to like others also.  

Somehow growing older makes us braver to be who we really are.  We become lazy to put up a false front for people and inevitably, circumstances change our perspectives, adding to the change in how we think.

Not everyone likes the changes or more accurately, the peeling off of the masks we put on to please others.  But there's a satisfaction in being the real me. 

Rules are made to be broken.

These days I keep reminding myself that I should do what I feel like doing.  Mostly I spend my days reading, watching TV, replying mails, browsing online, and chatting with good people on whatsapp.  

Since over a month ago, I've started exercising which is breaking a rule of my own since I don't much like physical activity.  But it's been good since Stephen bought me a Fitbit and I can track my progress.  And I have done pretty well since then!  Slowly but surely I am building up my stamina.

I used to follow a regimen of doing my duty but what exactly is that!  My sense of duty stems from a whole life of hearing that we must do what we are supposed to do.  I never realised how strongly this became my inner voice until I retired.  And even then, the influence of this indoctrination ran deep because to rid myself of it, I had to make a conscious effort to decide otherwise.  

Often, I would put others first and later feel like I had short-changed myself.  And even if people say, "you'll feel good", it wears off pretty quickly.  I know.  I've been there.

Now I have learnt to relax more and just do what suits my mood best.  

When Stephen is not at work, we do what we like because there are no rules and regulations.  We like to keep it that way.  We live according to each other's needs and wants and the rest can take a number and wait! Sounds cold but in the end, we are the ones who will matter and not anybody else.  

I learn as I grow older. And I'm still learning.