The best place to be ....

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Long ago when the pain of losing Eric was still sharp and intense, a priest wrote to me saying that, for Eric, the best place to be, if not with me, is in heaven.  It was most comforting to read those words and it kept me going for days, months and even years.  I still remember holding the unexpected aerogramme which came from India!  I looked up the bible verses that were mentioned.  I read and re-read them hoping for some relief.

"No more pain for him", I reminded myself.  

"Rest beyond my comprehension", I thought inside my head.

It's really a difficult thing to be trapped between wanting your baby boy in your life and knowing he's in heaven.  At two years, where else would he be after dying?

Some years ago, when I least expected it, my godson, Greg told me that since Eric died when he was so young, he must already be a general in heaven.  That made me smile and I felt so glad for the kind words from a sensitive soul to know how to stretch across the miles to send love and a virtual hug. Until today, I remember where I was standing when I saw that SMS message.  I had to stop because my eyes teared up and I wanted to blink them away before anybody saw me.  

Isn't it amazing that sometimes people do or say things that can touch our lives in such a far-reaching way?  They may not even remember it but what's important is that I haven't forgotten.

While today I feel a twinge of sadness, as I always do, I also remember these two moments when a simple gesture of humanity touched me so deeply and helped soothe an aching heart.  

30 years ago

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30 years ago, at 1317 hrs, a little bundle was put into my arms and the weight of that tiny being swept me into a turmoil as I pondered over whether I would be able to do a good job. All I knew in that moment was that I would love him, guard and guide him to the best of my ability.

Fast forward to today and he's now 30 years old.  

I almost cannot believe this.  It almost seems unreal that he's grown so quickly and also as his own person.  He knows what he wants in life and he goes out to get it.  More importantly, he has a heart that doesn't cause unnecessary hurt to anyone.  He doesn't carry tales. He is respectful of those around him. I could go on and on. 

I am truly very proud of him.  I love him.  

AND whatever I feel for him, Stephen feels double.  LOL  His love for Jared knows no bounds.  

My cup runneth over

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Jared tied the knot at the ROM on Monday, 30 November 2015 after five years of courtship.  Their church wedding will be in 2016. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Young love is so wonderful.  

It's a week since and we're still deliriously happy that everything went so well. The simple ceremony, lovely lunch and dinner/drinks session all made for a totally memorable day. 

While it was quite exciting to finally hear the words, "you are now husband and wife", the defining "moment" for me was during the lunch when I suddenly looked around and felt overwhelmed by all the good people there who love this young couple so unconditionally.  It's a beautiful thing to be surrounded by so much positive energy.

My MIL congratulated me twice.  I can understand her joy. Jared is her first grandson!  I have been immensely blessed to have her as my MIL.  She has been a great role model with her love, encouragement and support for everything I've done.  

Katherine Hepburn nailed it by saying that it's not about what you are expecting to get.  It's always about what you are expecting to give.  May Jared and Gwen hold this message in their hearts and be blessed always by all the love that surrounds them.

My cup runneth over.... 

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Being a Mom

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It's true!! And I'm sure most moms will agree with me.

While I have had personal satisfaction from all the paying jobs I ever had, the best sense of gratification has been from being a mom.

Maybe I feel this now because my child is all grown up and when he was younger I didn't have the luxury of thinking about this at all. Everyday was a rush and now when I look back, they were fleeting moments.  It didn't seem that way when I was living it but now upon reflection, those days are so distant and seem to be in fast forward mode. 

Today he's 29 years old.  At 1.17 pm that day, a child was born and changed me forever.

What comes to mind always when I think of him is this bible verse ~

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My beloved child

D and I love you so very much.

May you never forget that you are abundantly blessed and our beloved child in whom we are well pleased.