Living and feeling alive

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Yes, I've been slacking again but I will no longer apologise for the long lapses in posting here.  As I've said before, I don't write for clicks or likes.  I keep this blog for me, my immediate family, and anyone else who happens to chance upon it.

Even if nobody views it, I'm still going to keep at it.  Why?  Well, why not?

I started here twelve years ago and have enjoyed writing/sharing whenever I needed or wanted to do so.  It has sometimes been my go-to if I needed to give "air" to my feelings.  It is almost like having a friend who just sits and listens without judgement.  Perhaps this is the reason why I won't let it go. 

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Anyway, the first half of 2024 has been very eventful.  I have been busy just watching life go by.  There were, incredibly, ten deaths (family and friends).  It certainly does make taking stock of one's life uppermost in one's mind.  

With all that being said, I've just been slowing down to enjoy each morning, each day, each moment, and each memory made.

Being alive, is indeed, a grand thing.  

Out living or just outliving

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I keep saying I'll write more each time I check on my blog.  When I'm out and about, I think of what I want to put into words when I get home.  Then when I reach home, I do other things, or I just chill with my HP and browse online.

When I woke up this morning, I thought about all the working people.  Are they out there living their lives happily?  Some love going to work.  They prepare their things the night before and get organised for an easy and smooth start to their day.  Good planning, I know!  

Many are out living their best lives because they still get to do what makes them feel useful. But equally, there are some who get up on a working day and just go through the motions.  

However, we start our day, whether happily or grudgingly, we are out living our lives. 

I haven't really worked since early 2012.  More accurately, I wasn't gainfully employed because I did sort of work for the first six years when I arrived in Singapore.  Not work per se but more of a responsibility and there were days when it was tough.  Unbelievably, it is now almost an equal number of six years that I have not had to "work".  I am always thankful that I get to stay home.  

Recently Stephen and I were chatting about outliving some of our family and friends.  Death has a way of making us think about our own mortality.  Both of our fathers died relatively young; mine at 57 and his at 64.  We have outlived both of them.  It is a sobering thought.  

While we were out living our lives, we were, inadvertently, outliving many of our loved ones.  

Each day is precious.  May we be reminded to live well, love much, and laugh often.

Uncomplicated Life

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I just realised that the previous three posts were about the death of loved ones.  I hadn't noticed at first as it was something unconsciously done.  Only wrote so I wouldn't forget.

And I made a decision to stop because this blog isn't just for remembering people who have gone but it is also to enjoy the ones who are still with us.

I know I've said that I write for the future me.  When memories start to fade, I can dive into my blog and re-read some of the events that have made an impact on me.  Hence, I must not get into the habit of only writing when someone dies.  I must start writing about the good things that are around.  The fun people that are in my life.  There is much to be grateful for despite and in spite of Covid-19 still raging in our midst.

I've been doing practically nothing since the April 2020 circuit breaker in Singapore and since there is no travelling, I've been indoors almost all of that time.  Most people would have gone mad but not me as I have become slightly introverted.  Or maybe it is the opposite effect kicking in after having had to go out nearly every day for almost all of my life.  Either it was because of work, duty or even a holiday, I was, shall I use the word, forced to go out.  Now there are days when I don't even step outside the door.  While people consider it a punishment, I didn't, at all, find it unpleasant.  

There is so much to do at home.  There's housework which is never-ending.  We decide when to stop, that's the truth.  There's Netflix and that too is a slippery slope once you get immersed in a series.  And books, but I've not been reading much.  I don't really know the reason why.  I tell myself it's the print that I find too small for comfort.  I tried online books but that too, didn't have the same effect that reading always had for me.  Then there's news which I skim through nowadays because it can be bleak and depressing.  I just keep abreast of what's happening in the world.  It's not like I have to sit for any test so I just glance at headlines and only go deeper if I want more details.  

Apart from doing, there's also the not-doing things like napping.  I find that since I am up at 6 am on most days, I nap more often nowadays.  When I used to sleep in, I didn't really nap much.  But again, who's checking and I nap as I please.  There's joy in being able to do it at any time.  Those dozing off in my chair times are the best.  It is a luxury as I can still remember fighting off sleepiness and tiredness when I was working!!!  

Yes, to some, my lifestyle is a kind of nonsense as I just let one day slide into the next.  But isn't that the goal of many!  To eat, drink and be merry is what people say we need to do!

Really it is simple now for me.  Don't complicate life.  

If I get through one day, it's enough.  

At my age, there are no more dreams to chase or goals to achieve.  

I just want to be healthy, happy and whole.

Culture of complain

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Complaining is such a pervasive culture.

Often I hear people talk about all their issues; without once saying what they are doing about it.  

The habit of counting all their problems and not ever looking at possible solutions doesn't do much.  Sometimes when a suggestion is made, the quick reply would be, "cannot be done".  How nice it would be if instead, the reply was, "tried that".  

Everyone wants a quick fix.  More precisely, they want a winning lottery ticket but if you ask them if they had bought a ticket, they would say, "No".  

Life isn't always easy but I've learnt that complaining doesn't make it better.

Do I still complain?  Perhaps I do, unconsciously.  Will I do something about it?  Yes, because to complain without doing anything doesn't help.

Seriously, not serious!

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And there it is, I missed a whole month of blogging.  This is what happens when you have Netflix and you start following TV shows which have so many seasons.  

But life is always fun even with all the ups and downs because of Stephen.  He can make me laugh and we can be completely stupid with each other and it's so invigorating.  Having an unusual sense of humour is how we survived before we met each other and now it's how we survive anything and everything that comes our way.  

They say that we shouldn't laugh at people and that the right thing to do is to laugh with them.  With us, it's not possible.  He laughs at me and I laugh at him.  Maybe we are at that comfort level where we can do so without judgement.

Seriously, it's fun and makes me look at life less seriously.