19 December

Image from Pinterest

Today is my grandfather's birthday and I have awesome memories of him because he always showed so much love for me.  He would have been 114 years old!  As Christmas day draws near. I cannot help but think of him and all the other precious ones who have gone before us.  They live in our hearts and minds because they are unforgettable.

I remind myself to be grateful for the ones who are still around and doubly glad that we can spend Christmas 2023 all together once again.

Image from Pinterest

 

Lived, loved, lost and learned

Image from Instagram

I've been stuck in a sort of time warp.  After the last few years of doing basically the same thing daily, it was a challenge to get out of that routine.

Watching Netflix, reading and playing online games helped to kill time. Not even the unusually busy moments of travelling, to and fro, to see my children and grand-daughter could truly shake me out of the rut that I seemed to be in.  

For a while now, I've realised that I didn't have much to talk about because a big part of my world used to revolve around my MIL. Her illness, medications, welfare and well-being were all things that were paramount in my life.  So much so that when she died, I didn't know what else to talk about.  She was the main topic of most conversations.  She was what I knew about best.

It took me a while to make my MIL the focal point of my life.  Somehow that made it easier for me to see to her. I didn't realise that I no longer have to do that anymore.  Maybe it was my own personal way to grief.  

I seem to have been a bystander in my own life.  The arrival of a beautiful grand-daughter can now take centre stage. She has changed the family dynamics but somehow she was sharing it with a great-grandmother that she will never ever know.

I should let the past move into a corner where memories are stored. 

I should make new ones.

I should move on.

I should become the irritating grandmother with ooohs and aaahs about everything my grand-daughter does.

I should save what I can remember of Cayla's great-grandmother Myra.  When Cayla is old enough, we can tell her bedtime stories about the fond memories shared.  

Yes, that's what I can do.  Let go of the old.  Hold on to the new.  And yet bind them together.

If it rains....

If it rains, stay home.  Good advice or not? 

Today it rained quite heavily.  So I'm home trying to rest and do what I feel like doing.  

There are people who have expectations of where we should be or what we have to be doing and that puts pressure on how we believe life should be lived.  Then there are the ones who are joyful when they see you and never fail to say, "go back and rest" or "don't worry about me, I'm fine".

It amazes me each and every time that people can be so caring and giving.  Caring because they are more concerned for others and giving in the sense that no matter how precious time spent together is, that time is not taken for granted.

I'm impressed that my mom-in-law who is in a nursing home and who enjoys a visit from people would often say,  "If it rains, don't come".  "Stay home and relax", she'll add.

She doesn't remember many people now and sometimes she can't even recall who is dead or alive anymore.  Her eyesight and hearing makes it hard for her to manage simple conversations yet she still makes every effort to interact.  

There is quiet dignity and courage behind the wrinkles and platinum white hair.  It's a trait that I admire very much. 

So I'm home but I'm thinking of her and wondering if she even remembers telling us not to go if it rains.  

Pieces of April

With April just over, the song title came to my mind.  I grew up with this song in my youth.  Just found it on Youtube and it made me smile.  

April was an ordinary month, marked only by the death of a beloved uncle, Rufino Soliano.  

He was the eldest in a family of nine children and the only sibling who was older than my dad, who also passed away almost twenty-seven years ago.  

When I reconnected with Uncle Rufi, after too many years of not meeting up, the bond was instantaneous for me. Whether we realise it or not, it's the blood that we share.  

I will miss him and every time I hear this beautiful song, I shall think of him.  

It's over but the journey has begun

We're blessed to have been able to witness and be part of something so special in our lives.  A new door opens and, with awe, we watch all the magic and mystery of life and love.

Round 1 in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah on 26 November 2016
Round 2 in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia on 10 December 2016
Round 3 in Singapore on 17 December 2016

It's all over now but their journey truly has begun.

We are so proud of this union and we give all our blessings over your lives together.

Dear Jared and Gwen,

Be happy. Stay close to God. Look after each other always.

Never forget that both of you are loved very much by your loving parents.

May blessings flow through your lives abundantly.

Much love today, tomorrow and forever

D and Nai!

Photo credit to SteffiePaulus

Corazon means heart

Image from Twitter

The last time that I spoke to my Aunt Corazon was on the 19th of March 2014 and just five days before she died.

I strain to remember if there was a hint in her voice that she knew or felt something.  It's impossible. Our conversations were always about the same things and about the same people. 

Every time we speak with anyone, it never occurs to us that it might just be the last time we talk to that someone.  

I don't always think of my Aunt Corazon but when I do, it stops me in my tracks for a moment.  Like today on the anniversary of her death and it doesn't seem as if it's been that long and I still miss her.

It's two years already and I still feel her love for me.  

I think this is what real love is all about.  A person loves you so much in real life that even when they are gone, you still feel that love from beyond.

I hope it works both ways and that she can also feel my love for her wherever she may be now.

What do they do?

Image from Instagram

It's never easy to deal with the absence of those we once loved and continue to love.  However if they aren't with us, then surely we should remember that they are where we all long to be eventually.

Image from WWW

Countdown to Christmas Begins

Image from Pinterest

It's such an exciting time of the year. While it may be ten full days to Christmas, we're counting down to when the children will be here and that is on the 22nd night!!!  So it's about seven days before they set off from Kuala Lumpur for Singapore.  I believe they will drive down so we will have the car here during that time.  Oh, to be chauffeur-driven again....  

What's Christmas without children like???  I don't know.  Whether they are with us or not, Christmas is always fun when they are a part of our lives. 

It's just double the happiness if they are here.