Things I love...

As we get older and wiser, the list of things that we love grows shorter and shorter.  In fact, the things we want are no longer fighting for space with the things that we need. 

There was a time when I made a mental note of whatever I wanted to get and eventually I would go out and get it.  There are many items on that list that I haven't yet bought but they have been relegated to the nether worlds now.  

It made sense not to buy that Jimmy Choo pair of shoes since I'm almost always wearing my Fitflops!  Designer bags? They aren't practical for me now.  Clothes?  Nawwww as I have more than enough.  I could go on...

However, the list of things that I love which money cannot buy has grown tremendously.  It's a good feeling and there's a release from the bondage of shopping.  I have time to love and also enjoy the basic things that make my day better.  

How I have changed in these last three years from always buying more than I needed!!  (Stephen will smile when he reads this!).

Even though I live so near the famous Orchard Road, I hardly ever go there because I already have all the things I love or need.

In fact, I've given away so many things that I used to love and I haven't even thought about them at all.  How wonderful not to be tied to stuff.  

I think that moving away from Kuala Lumpur and having to leave all my favourite things behind has taught me a good lesson.  I didn't really need any of those things.

At the end of it all, just having someone to love is all we really need in life.

Three years already!

Image from Pinterest

Yep! It's three years since SFGEMS was created.  There was a time when I lost sleep wondering if I had checked and re-checked before posting something.  Nowadays I no longer do that.  Maybe I believe that perfection is a myth and maybe I also realise that imperfection isn't a flaw.

When I used to write on STEEST, I was afraid that no one would read my blog.  Then I was afraid that someone would read my blog. Mentally tortured myself for no reason!!! There are millions of blogs in the world wide web.  Then I realised that I was writing for the future me.  It's a timeline of my own life way before Facebook.

In early 2012, I inadvertently deleted all the images in STEEST and I was wondering what to do until I realised that there was nothing I could do.  Hence the only solution was to start over and it was as easy as going to the shops to get a packet of chips!!!

What's my point on this 3 year anniversary?  Well, it's this ------->

No use crying over spilt milk, just clean the mess and move on.

I'm glad I started this blog.  It's been a good avenue to release some of my anxiety and thoughts.  It's also a great way to focus on the good in my life.  

Whenever I've wanted to write, I just write.  Sometimes I keep it in the drafts until I've had a second look.  At other times, I just publish without any more thoughts about it.  

Anyway, it's been a good record of what's happened in my life. Each entry reminds me of something important.  The memory will go and then only these words will remain.  

One day in the distant future, when I can no longer remember much, I will be able to return and read about my own life. 

  

He never grows old!

All babies go to heaven!  In my mind, Eric is still two years old. I've dreamt of him a few times and he's always a baby: still walking unsteadily and talking in his funny sing-song way!  

This is the consolation for me.  In my mind, I see him as he was. He never grows old.  

Thoughts of him, and especially today, make me happy. He's in heaven. 

Being a Mom

Image from Instagram

It's true!! And I'm sure most moms will agree with me.

While I have had personal satisfaction from all the paying jobs I ever had, the best sense of gratification has been from being a mom.

Maybe I feel this now because my child is all grown up and when he was younger I didn't have the luxury of thinking about this at all. Everyday was a rush and now when I look back, they were fleeting moments.  It didn't seem that way when I was living it but now upon reflection, those days are so distant and seem to be in fast forward mode. 

Today he's 29 years old.  At 1.17 pm that day, a child was born and changed me forever.

What comes to mind always when I think of him is this bible verse ~

Image from Pinterest

Change is everchanging...

Image from WWW

Just about a year ago there were long stretches of days when I didn't even step outside the front door.  Of course, I did go out from time to time but it was also possible for me to remain indoors.  I think the longest I stayed home was maybe three weeks.  

Fast forward to 2015 and now there isn't even a day when I am not out and about.  I've gotten used to it that I think if I stayed home, it would feel odd.  

I used to look forward to staying home when there was nothing to do outside the house.  But now that I have to be out everyday, I find that I'm also happy.  I get to feel the sun on my skin.  I see the majestic trees along the road.  I perceive that some people are so kind and it refreshes my faith in humanity.  Wonderful people and things exist everywhere, if only we notice. 

How I've changed from being a closet hermit to whatever is the opposite of that!!  

I'm certain that circumstances will continue to be at the forefront of what determines my being at home or going out.  However, acceptance that change is everchanging gives me courage to face everything and anything that comes along.  

Nothing is permanent except change ~ Heraclitus  

Beauty in the ugly.

Image from WWW

Exactly a month ago, a normal five hour journey turned into a nine hour trip.  Was I annoyed?  Not really.  

I've learnt to always find the positive no matter what life throws my way.  The nine hour trip gave me an opportunity to be with my kids and to talk (no escape for them!).  Usually in the hustle and bustle of daily life, there is hardly time but here I was given an opportunity to listen and enjoy the steady drone of my children talking.  It's a sound that I missed and didn't even realise until that moment.

Now I look back and feel greatly blessed that we had a safe trip back.  "It could have been worse", I always say.

On that very same highway, I once had a burst tyre while driving but I was able to manoeuvre to the side of the road without any untoward incident.  Another time was when the car in front of me did a sudden flip (like in the movies) and landed in the ditch.  On both occasions, I was shaken but grateful that nothing serious happened.  I consider myself truly blessed.

In KL, the kids always look after me and I enjoy the attention. They're both very kind and loving.  I couldn't ask for any better than them. 

What was the beauty in that ugly long trip?  The precious time I had with Jared and Gwen.  Priceless!