Reading through the lines

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I used to read a lot.  Since I was in primary school, it was a challenge to find the time for leisure reading because of school, homework and activities.

Even when I was working, I still read quite a bit.  Often, I would give up a bit of my night sleep just to finish a chapter.  

Now when I am retired and able to read at any time I want, I haven't.  I did when I first arrived, but circumstances were such that I couldn't concentrate.  Eventually, I stopped reading but didn't stop buying books, though.  

Despite buying whenever I saw some book that I wanted, I still went to the library to borrow books and very often, with a tail between my legs, returned some without having touched them.  Thankfully, there was a drop-off box where we could just deposit the books without having to face the librarian.  It would have been so embarrassing if she had asked, "how was the story?".

Just when I was free to just stay home and begin reading, Netflix arrived, and I got snatched into the world of TV series (10 seasons or limited) and movies.  Recently, we also subscribed to the Disney channel, and this opened up a new world of other documentaries and shows that we enjoy.  I'm not complaining as this kept me happy during the covid times.

Today, I am going to pick up a book and see if I can revive my love for reading.  I have some in my Tab but there is nothing that comes close to holding a book and leaving a bookmark between the pages.  I'll be wise and choose the right book.  Let's see if I can reduce my intending-to-read list by one book!

Doing nothing together

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Stephen and I have found a nice balance of life with each other.  We are both so different physiologically and psychologically that living together peacefully and happily did require adjustments.

As we age, we no longer aspire to climb mountains (for him) or travel.  Yes, we plan and talk a lot and that's fun even if we don't see it through, we spend time researching and talking about it.  Often, the discussion goes off on a tangent and then we find new stuff to delve into.

We love documentaries and that's where we spend our TV time.  Even after so many years together, there are still things I'm discovering about him.  Only recently, I realised that he loves musicals!  

These days, one of the things that we enjoy most is to have dinner and catch up on family matters, local and international news, and anything in between!  I was just saying that it is like our former skype times where we used to chat for hours.  

After the dishes are done, we do our own thing.  Just being in the same space is enough comfort for me!  

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11 years and counting?

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I haven't been as faithful, as I intended to be, with regard to writing consistently.  I've learnt to forgive myself for the lapses, though.  I am my own boss so who's checking?

Besides, I realise that I've just been making hay while the sun shines, so to speak!  I am busy everyday with doing something.  And there is never a dull moment for me.  I don't think I have ever reached the "I am bored" stage.  Perhaps the long gaps are good as it means I've been offline and not sitting in front of the computer.  

Anyway, this blog is my go-to place for depositing my thoughts and memories.  I like the idea of it being a bank of sorts.  An account created to drop an assortment of things I feel, see, experience, and observe. 

Whatever it is, an anniversary is always something to celebrate!  

Eric 1990-1992

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No matter how many years have passed, it is impossible to not wonder about the life he would have had or the person he might have been.

He would be 33 today if he had not died 31 years ago.

Has it really been that long already?  Sometimes it seems like time is moving so slowly but when I look at milestones in my life, it has really flown so swiftly.

Faded pictures and memories

 

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I am not particularly photogenic.  I almost always don't like the photos taken of me.  I don't have a fixed smile that I can automatically switch on.  In short, I can't be an actress and I don't have a poker face. 

It is amazing that so many have the same look in every photo.  Do they practise in front of the camera?  I look different in almost all my photos.  Okay, some candid ones can be explained but the ones in a group or when posing for a picture?  How do they manage to perfect the smile, the look, and the pose?

Only lately, I have begun to loosen my hang ups about ugly photos of me!  Oh yes, the kids love it and save them in their handphones.  *rolling my eyes here*

Then I realise that when I am dead and gone, it is these very photos that will make them smile.  

Good people

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Over the years, I've always felt that it is fine to be around everyone no matter who they are or whatever they say because I grew up with the notion that we are able to emerge from the negativity that sometimes emanates from them.  You know, like the saying, "The lily grows out of mud, yet it is not contaminated."

I probably conveniently overlooked the other possibility that the doom and gloom can stick in our minds.  This, then, creates a slippery slope towards thinking and dwelling in the pits of despair.

Of late, I have unknowingly moved towards and stuck with the family and friends who genuinely love and want the best for me.  It has made such a difference in my life.  They generate the good vibrations for a happy environment.  

There were so many who are happiness vampires!  They suck the smiles out of one's life.  They demand time, presence, responses, and the list goes on.  You disappoint in one and that's it!  I didn't realise it was so tiring and draining.  I stopped apologising and I let it go.  Turned out to be a life-changing decision for me! 

I recommend taking a good look at who is in your midst.  

Grow and glow!