Monday, October 08, 2012

What old people like to say.......

It's very often that I hear old people say they would rather be at home than go to a Nursing Home.  Of course, it's understandable that no one wants to be removed from the family members and all the familiar trappings.

However, I wonder if these old people will be good patients at home and disciplined enough to follow a strict regimen when it is necessary.

It's always easy to say I would rather stay home rather than go to a Nursing Home because it's better for my mental well-being.  There is also the parent/child card played in this 'game' that says we should never abandon our folks after they have looked after us and sacrificed so much.

What about the caregivers?  Should children be forced into becoming caregivers when they don't have the resources or emotional strength to enforce rules upon their aged parents.

I don't know if I could be a caregiver and I wouldn't pretend that I could.  I am practical enough to know that the care given in a Nursing Home may lack the emotional comfort of home but it will get the job done for the good of the patient.

If my Mom were to tell me that she's hungry and I know that she has to watch her food, I'd not be happy controlling her food intake.

If she needs to watch how much water she drinks in a day, I don't know if I could say NO.  

If she helps herself to a sweet drink, I would be obliged to stop her.  This is not at all easy.

The easiest would be to get them to take their medicine.  But when you have to refuse them some of the basic things which healthy people take for granted, it can be a very difficult thing to do.

So I sit here and I wonder.

I wonder if all the old people who like to say that they don't want to go to a Nursing Home will be obedient if they are at home with their family.  Or will they be stubborn?

Will the children/caregivers be considered mean and cruel for limiting the water intake because of edema?

Will the children/caregivers be called wicked and selfish when meals have to be carefully proportioned because of diabetes?

Will the children/caregivers be condemned for serving bland food because of diet restrictions?

Yes.  Yes.  Yes.  They will probably be called all sorts of names because people generally tend to take the side of the elderly.

Besides, it's so easy to sit in judgement of others when you don't face the situation yourself.

As I go so often to the Nursing Home, I am privy to a lot of the things that go on.  It is not the best place to be in but it is certainly the better place if the elderly person needs constant supervision.


  1. You will get no argument from me about the advantages of a NH - both for the one needing care, and the ones needed to give the care.

    My sisters and I cared for my father during the last six months of his life, and it is a sad, draining, and mind-numbing experience I wouldn't wish on anyone.

    My mum says that if she gets ill, she wants to be put in a NH. She says lah. She has four daughters, and we don't want to do that - but, it will depend on how ill she is, and how much care she needs, I guess.

    My one wish for every one I love is this: may you go to sleep one night, and just slip over to the other side before the light of dawn. This is my wish for me as well.

    1. Looking after your loved one would not have been easy. Perhaps this is why you can empathize with me. I think the physical aspect, although tiring and difficult, must still be easier than the emotional side of it.

      How do you control someone from drinking water if they are thirsty? Something so simple as this can really take the wind out of one's sails. This is what "between the devil and the deep blue sea" must mean!

      Thanks for sharing. I really do appreciate it. <3